The Viking Gets Pie-Eyed - Skip-Pie with Kale Mash and PSB

Pie.

I don’t really need to say any more than that do I, really?  The pie, in almost all forms, is possibly mankind’s greatest achievement.  The motor car?  Pah.  Flight?  Get out of town.  The Microchip?  When I get hold of the person who thought that Microwaved Chips would be a good idea I’m going to string them up by the goolies.  Whereas a Pie, well, a pie can truly astonishing.

I love pie in all of its forms – from the humble pork pie through to a fish pie.  I’m happy with a piece of Chicken and Mushroom, or with a great hunk of apple pie.  What I’m saying is, is that if you want to guarantee my friendship for life, there’s only one thing you need to do.  Get some pastry, some gravy and some meat, wrap it all up in a shortcrust blanket, feed it to me and I’m yours.

Last week, then, was my ideal week.  Great British Pie Week came and went with shamefully little media coverage.  I must confess that I could have timed this blog better, but as it is I’m a little late to present to you:

Skip-Pie, served with Kale Mash and PSB.

Yes, if you interpreted that awful pun correctly, this week’s offering is a Kangaroo pie.  Nowadays, Kangaroo might not be as uncommon as it used to be (you can even get a Kangaroo Burger in a Walkabout, should you be so inclined to go in to one of those places), but I still got a few raised eyebrows when I told people what I’d be cooking.  My friends at Kezie (www.keziefoods.co.uk) supplied the meat – a few lovely fillets of Kangaroo Striploin, delivered direct to my office ready to be thawed out and made in to a delicious treat of a pie.  I was surprised when I opened the meat – it is very lean, dark and extremely tender; as I was dicing the meat during the prep phase, I was stunned how easily the knife ran through it.

Of course, you’ll be needing stuff.  To make this Skip-Pie (I do love a good pun, don’t you?) you’ll need:

- Kangaroo Striploin fillets (I used four of these, making a pie for four people)

- 4 Shallots

- A handful of Chestnut Mushrooms

- Beef Stock

- A Bottle of Beer (I used London Pride, but you can choose your own)

- Cayenne Pepper

- Potatoes

- Kale

- Purple sprout Broccoli

- A packet of Short crust Pastry (do try not to judge me too harshly – if it’s good enough for Saint Delia then it’s good enough for me)

- Milk

- Butter

Firstly, you’ll need to dice up your meat.  Don’t be stingy, go for nice, chunky lumps of meat:

One of the fillets...

Place in to a pan, and then cover with water:

And now light a high heat under the pan, and bring the water to the boil.  I will admit, at this stage you’ll probably look at what’s happening in the pan and think that it’s never going to come good.  There’s going to be a certain amount of scum rise to the surface and you, young Pie Adventurer, you need to power through.  Grab a spoon and a bowl, and scoop the offending nastiness from the top of the pan.

Boil for only a minute or two, and then add half a pint of beef stock, a good slug of beer, chopped shallots and a big shake of cayenne pepper depending on how spicy you want your gravy to be.  Return this to the boil and then simmer over a low heat for a minimum of two hours or longer if you have the time.

Come back every now and then for a stir, and make sure that your mix doesn’t go dry.  If it does, just add a bit more stock.  Top tip – don’t add your mushrooms until about ten minutes before you’re going to put your filling in a pie dish.  This stops them from shrinking too much and helps them retain a nice bite.

Half an hour before you intend to lid your pie, get the pastry out of the refrigerator.  Allow it to come to room temperature (or near enough) before rolling it out to the thickness and size that you require for your pie dish.

Ensure to try and leave some extra pastry to make shapes to stick to the top of the pie.  Traditionally this would be a leaf motif, but I am a maverick and am obsessed with branding, so this pie has a Viking Helmet on it.  Feel free to add your own design!

Make sure you have your potatoes peeled, halved and placed in water ready for boiling.  In a separate pan, again in water, add a few handfuls of Kale leaves.  In yet another pan, add some stalks of broccoli, again covered with water and a little seasoning.  The cooking times for each are as follows:

Potatoes – 25-30 minutes simmering (or until a fork can be stuck in to a potato meeting no resistance)

Kale – 10 minutes simmer

Broccoli – 10 minutes simmer

But that’s all to come later.  Once you’re satisfied with the pie filling, get your pie dish and lightly grease or butter the edges.  Use a slotted spoon to transfer the pie filling in to the dish.

Drain out as much gravy as possible, as you want a moist but not wet pie.  Once that’s done cut an ‘x’ in to the centre of your pastry and quickly lay over the top of the meat.  Press down at the edges with either your fingers or a fork, give it a quick milk wash and then whack it in the oven for about half an hour at 200c – or until the pastry is crisp and golden.  Don’t worry if your pie is ready before your veg, it can sit in a warm oven just ticking over.

Once the pie is in, turn on the heat for the potatoes, and 20 minutes later do the same for your kale and broccoli.  Purple sprout broccoli loses its purple colour and turns bright green when cooked, and the kale will be soft and tender.

Now the pie is cooked, the veg is ready, and there’s one more step before plating up.  Use a masher to mash the potatoes down, and then add a knob of butter and a splash of milk.  Finish the mashing process with a wooden spoon, stirring vigorously.  For a perfect mash you should get yourself a potato ricer, which, if used instead of a masher, delivers smooth and silky mashed potato every time.  Remember to add milk and butter bit by bit because too much of either will result in wet slop.  It’s easier to add a bit more than to take a lot out.  Once the mash is done, drain the kale and shake as much moisture as you can out of it.  Throw in to the mashed potato and give it a good stir.  You can also, at this stage, throw some crushed garlic and some pepper in to the mash depending on your level of addiction to garlic.

In the meantime, warm up the gravy that is left in the pan from making your pie filling, adding more stock and a spoon of bisto if you need more gravy to go around.  Bring it gently to the boil, and then simmer until you’re done, stirring regularly.

Cut the pie in to four and, contrary as it may seem, gently lift the crust away from the meat inside.  This isn’t essential, but it does help with the final presentation.  Spoon the meat filling on to a plate and then lay the pie lid on top.

Arrange your PSB next to the pie, and then whack on a nice, buttery dollop of kale mash.  If you want, you can be all arty like I have been here and use a little pot for the gastro pub effect, but I’ll be honest – soon after this picture was taken, that bowl was emptied out and was replaced by a pile of potato so large it could have shown up on the next Ordinance Survey map.

The result, then, will hopefully be a pie with golden, crumbly pastry that is filled with tender, melt-in-the-mouth Kangaroo meat complemented by woody mushrooms, spicy, rich and beery gravy working together to produce an aroma that is to die for.  Green, crunchy broccoli gives way to soft, buttery mash that has a bitter, peppery bite delivered by the kale.  This is real feel good food, and is the perfect way to end your week.

Kangaroo was a very pleasant surprise indeed.  The flavour is more gamey than you might expect – closer to Venison than it is to beef – and despite the lean quality of the meat it stands up to cooking very well indeed.  If you have a few spare pounds and would like to try something different from beyond these shores, then I highly recommend Kangaroo.  Similarly, if you don’t want to mess about cooking a pie, I’ll do another mini-blog later in the week that plays down the faff and up the simplicity.

And so ends another little blog.  I do hope you have enjoyed it, so please – tell all of your friends!

The Viking