“Eeeeh, Chamakh!” cried the hotel porter as I clambered from the coach. It was 10pm, and the air in Morocco was oppressively hot. I was feeling harassed, after already having paid a man £5 tip to carry my case the seven yards from the airport to the coach, after having my suitcase emptied out by Moroccan immigration in search of who-know-what. After a 45 minute bus journey, driven by a man who (judging by the speed he maintained) had missed his calling in F1, narrated by an endlessly chirpy holiday representative who did nothing to improve my mood. This was not a good start to my honeymoon.
“Eeeeh, Chamakh!” he cried again, and it was only then that I realised that an Arsenal tag was hanging from my bag. Marouane Chamakh, Moroccan international, had recently signed for Arsenal, and this was obviously part of a limited English vocabulary.
“Take your case, Chamakh?” he said, winking at me for reasons I have yet to understand. Resigning myself to another tip, I handed it over. “This way, Chamakh!” was the last I heard from him as he scuttled around the corner. Finally, Mrs Viking and I reached our room, along with bag and minus another £5 (“English money, Chamakh, Moroccan no good!”), and we collapsed. Here we were on the North African continent, and what a relentless taste explosion it would be. Souks, piled high with spices and fish! Endless bubbling tagines! Mountains of Lamb Kefta! Heaven!
I am sorry to report that, thanks to the rules set down by ClubHotel Riu Tikida Dumas, this did not come to pass. The daily buffet was little more than meat, pasta and chips with the occasional Kefta thrown in. There was a classic Moroccan restaurant, but you could only eat there once during your stay and you had to book it at least 24 hours in advance. Sure, we could have gone to the local village – but the fact is we were on a shoestring (hence all-inclusive) and had kind of counted on a hotel in Morocco actually serving Moroccan food.
So, back to London we trudged (now colder, wetter and greyer), and I decided that if the mountain wasn’t going to come to Chamakh, then Chamakh would come to the mountain, so to speak. And so I went to the shops, and I got myself one of these bad boys:
…I then proceeded to sit this on top of my fridge – where it has been for the last year or so, looking pretty but not actually getting used - until this weekend. Somewhere, a wedding was taking place (I’m not sure if you heard about it, it was a much understated affair), so I took advantage of the quiet in the streets and went to Bromley (sometimes, a Viking needs to make an escape from Penge) and did some shopping. I returned with a bag straining with various bits and pieces for a weekend in the kitchen – but my main goal, my prime concern, was to dust off my tagine for the first time and get ruddy cooking.
I grabbed it from its perch, and thrust it on the hob with what I imagine was a go-getting, no-nonsense, I’m-about-to-do-something-different attitude. I looked at my tagine. It looked at me. It was like Rocky facing Ivan Drago. It was like KITT versus KARR. Mr. T versus Hulk Hogan, only with less lycra and more spices. And thus, a tagine was born:
The Viking Tagines – Lamb Kefta with Egg and a (Sort of) Tabbouleh
Thos of you who have read me before will know that you need STUFF. So, for the shopping list this week:
For the Kefta (serves 4, or 2 really hungry, people)
- 500g Minced Lamb (about 20% fat content)
- 1 Onion, finely chopped
- 4 garlic cloves, grated
- 1 tsp ground ginger
- ½ tsp mild chilli powder (you can do it with hot if you like loads of spice, but it might overwhelm the other flavours)
- 1tsp ground cumin
- Handful of coriander leaves, chopped
- Handful of parsley, chopped
- 1 egg yolk (Free range, of course. I like Happy Eggs or, even better, eggs from Granddad’s farm!)
- Salt and Pepper
And now, for the Tagine:
- Olive oil
- 1 sliced onion
- Tomato puree (2tbsp)
- 400g (ish) of chopped tomato (Sainsbury’s do a great one in a box, with all the lovely juice, and it’s not too watery…)
- A couple of tbsp of honey
- 4 eggs
- Chopped Parsley
- 1 tsp Ras el Hanout (this is a Moroccan spice that I should think you can get in most Supermarkets. Waitrose definitely do it. It’s a couple of quid and so, so worth it!)
Finally, for the Sort-of Tabbouleh:
- Bulgar wheat
- Lemon juice
- Chopped spring onions
- Chopped parsley
- Olive oil
Got all that? Good. I’ll do my very best John Torode impression now:
Ladies and Gentlemen… Let’s cook!
Method (Kefta):
1) In a mixing bowl, place the Lamb, onion, garlic, ginger, chilli, cumin, coriander and parsley. Use your hands to mix it all together
2) Then, add the yolk of an egg to bind it all, and form it in to a big ball
3) Wash your hands, and leave them damp. Use damp hands to form smaller meatballs, slightly larger than a golf ball in size
4) Place on to a tray for use later on
Now then, let’s make the tagine, eh? If you don’t have a tagine, a large saucepan with a lid will do. Follow these simple steps:
1) In a measuring jug, pour 400ml of chopped tomato and juice, the tomato puree, honey, parsley and Ral el Hanout
2) Bring a medium to hot heat under your tagine. Let it warm through before you start cooking
3) Drizzle a little olive oil in to the pan, and add your onions. Cook them down until tender
4) Add the Kefta. Cook for about 10 minutes until nicely browned
5) Pour over the sauce, and gently stir so it is covering everything nicely
6) Cover, and cook for 10 minutes
7) After 10 minutes, uncover, and use a spoon to make four wells
8) Crack whole eggs in to the wells, recover, and cook for a further 10 minutes
9) Done! Uncover, and check the eggs. If cooked, you’re finished, if not, give it another couple of minutes until they are fully poached
Meanwhile, you’ll need to be making your sort-of Tabbouleh:
1) Take 125g of Bulgar wheat, and add it to boiling water
2) Cover, and simmer for 10 minutes until the wheat has soaked up all the water
3) When that’s done, chop some spring onions and stir through the wheat along with a drizzle of olive oil, chopped parsley and a glug of lemon juice
4) Done!
I’ve listed this as a sort-of tabbouleh as I didn’t have any fresh tomato, which I am told you need to make it an actual tabbouleh. In this case, I don’t think it’s that much of an issue as the sauce in the tagine has a rich tomato flavour already. Serve by spooning large helpings in to a deep bowl, making sure the kefta are evenly shared and that everyone gets an egg. I guarantee (100% or your money back) that this riot of flavour will bring a smile to the face of the people who eat it the moment it passes their lips. It is, I’ll be honest, a conversation killer – but as a cook, there’s nothing better than the cacophony of knife-and-fork-against-plate. There’ll be time for talking, and for much drinking of beautiful, fruity red wine, later on.
And so I leave you, dear reader, for another week. Next week I return with how to make home-made Nando’s (for half the cost). I hope to see you then!
Cheers,
Viking
P.S – Have you seen that programme on the Food Network called ‘Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives’? There’s something almost hypnotic about it. I’m not sure if it’s the presenters shock of platinum blonde hair, or if it’s the piles of home cookin’, or if it’s just that there’s nothing on between 10 and 11pm, but I’m an addict. Well, until Man vs Food starts again, anyway. If ever anyone wants to make a UK version of those shows, you know where to find me! ;)
Finally - the FoodViking twitter feed was mentioned this month in the BBC's Olive Magazine... Page 115 of the June Edition! Tell your friends!
I too did not get nearly enough lamb kefta when I was in Morocco. I think I need some of this. Stat.
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