The Viking Fishes and Chips: I Just Coley’d to say I Love You

Think you Cod do better with your fish?  Then, my friend, you have come to the right place.  I can’t promise that there won’t be any more truly awful puns, but what I can promise is a whole new fish to consider when you’re cooking at home.

Thanks to one of my favourite TV Chefs, one Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall, the plight of fish in the waters of Europe has recently been highlighted.  I’ll just quote from their excellent website (www.fishfight.net), as they say it better than I ever could:

“Fishing for one species [in mixed fisheries] often means catching another, and if people don’t want them or fishermen are not allowed to land them, the only option is to throw them overboard. The vast majority of these discarded fish will die.

Because discards are not monitored, it is difficult to know exactly how many fish are being thrown away. The EU estimates that in the North Sea, discards are between 40% and 60% of the total catch. Many of these fish are species that have fallen out of fashion: we can help to prevent their discard just by rediscovering our taste for them.

Others are prime cod, haddock, plaice and other popular food species that are “over-quota”. The quota system is intended to protect fish stocks by setting limits on how many fish of a certain species should be caught.

Fishermen are not allowed to land any over-quota fish; if they accidentally catch them – which they can’t help but do - there is no choice but to throw them overboard before they reach the docks.” (Source)

I hope you will agree that this is crazy.  The very worst part of it, for me, is that hundreds of thousands of tonnes of perfectly good fish is thrown away not out of choice, but out of necessity, and it strikes me as being an awful waste – especially as a lot of the fish that is thrown away is so good to eat you’d probably soon forget all about the humble old Cod anyway.  So, as fish eaters, we need to diversify our eating habits when it comes to the pleasures of the deep. 

Now, I live in South East London, a part of the world not usually recognised for being a fishing port – although it must be said that Penge does sound like some kind of fish.  So, when I took myself to the fishmonger last week, I was surprised to find that it wasn’t stocking its usual array of Cod, Haddock, Salmon and Prawns.  There, perched atop the ice like a little fishy wonder, was a fillet of fish that looked me square in the eyes and said “if you don’t eat me it would be a crime, sir.”  Figuratively, I mean, I did not have a psychotic episode in the middle of Sainsbury’s.  On that day, anyway.

The fillet of fish I’m talking about came from a lovely little beast called a Coley. A fish that is very similar to Cod, you may have heard it called Pollock, Saithe or Boston Blue.  The flesh of the fish, however, is darker than Cod, and for that reason this fish has a wholly undeserved reputation for being bad eating.  The plus side is that because of this reputation, two sizeable fillets will cost you about £3.  I tell you, once you’ve cooked it you’ll never believe in Cod again. (One more pun like that and I’m shutting you down – Ed.)

The other thing about SE London, and London as a whole, is the lack of good Fish and Chip shops.  Sure, there are plaices (THIS IS YOUR LAST WARNING! – Ed.) where you can get fish and chips – but any self respecting Fish Emporium should not have a kebab sitting on the side slowly dripping E. Coli over everything, and it definitely shouldn’t have a self-service window on the street to serve drunks after midnight.  It should, however, be called something like “Neptune’s Pantry”, or “A Salt and Battery”, or even “Rock and Sole Plaice; and it should have formica work tops, huge plastic cellars of salt and vinegar, and a huge jar of pickled eggs on the side that no-one ever buys.  That’s what a fish and chip shop should be like, and they should be stuffed full of people at 6pm on a Friday getting their end of week treat.  When you’re a Viking landlocked in the City, though, you have to do things for yourself.  And, as it happens, it’s cheaper too.  So, this week:

The Viking Fishes and Chips: I Just Coley’d to say I Love You

Take yourself to the shops, or raid your cupboards, and find the following STUFF:

For the Fish:

1 x Fillet of Coley per (hungry) person (1 fillet halved will feed two, though)

50 grammes corn flour

75 grammes plain flour

5 grammes baking powder

1 bottle of cold ale

(This batter mix makes enough to coat 2-3 fillets of fish)

For the Spicy Chips:

Potatoes

Unsalted cashew nuts

Sesame seeds

Ground cumin

Mild chilli powder

Let’s cook!

Method:

1)      Sift corn flour, plain flour and baking powder in to a bowl

2)      Add the cold ale (as cold as possible) bit by bit until you have a smooth, thick batter

3)      Place in the fridge until ready to use

4)      Peel and chop potatoes in to chunky chips, setting aside in cold water

The tools of the trade...

5)      For this recipe, I have used my new favourite toy, the Tefal Actifry.  I was sceptical at first, but the proof is in the eating – this machine makes hot, crunchy chips and they’re good for you too.  If you don’t have one of these, follow the recipe I have used for chunky chips before and do them in the oven – making sure to coat evenly with seeds and spices.

6)      Drain the chips and pat dry, place in to the Actifry/Oven/cooker of choice, with a couple of spoonfuls of chilli powder and ground cumin, depending on your taste.  Throw in a handful of cashew nuts.

7)      Toast some sesame seeds in a dry pan, and add these to the Actifry as well

8)      Turn on, and cook for 35-40 minutes until golden brown

You could also use a deep fryer to make the chips – if you do, don’t put the sesame seeds, nuts and spices in there.  Once the chips are cooked, toss all of the ingredients together.

     9)      Now we’re ready to cook the fish.  Preheat a heavy-bottomed pan or wok that is half full of vegetable oil to about 180c (or, drop a small cube of bread in.  If it sizzles, you’re good to go)

10)   Remove batter from fridge and stir

11)   Coat each fillet of fish in plain flour, and then dunk in the batter, making sure the fillet is fully coated

12)   Carefully place in to the oil, being careful of your fingers

13)   Cook for about 4 minutes, until the batter has crisped up nicely and turned golden-brown in colour

14)   Remove fillet, and place on a kitchen towel to drain (although it won’t need much draining as you’ll be using clean, fresh oil)

15)   Serve, with a side of tomato ketchup, a slice of buttered white bread and a heap of zingy tartare sauce

16)   Eat!

That’s sixteen steps to heaven right there, and it isn’t faffy at all.  Home-made fish and chips, the perfect way to end your week!  The Coley is an outstanding fish to eat, tender, meaty and uncommonly good.  I should know, I’ve eaten loads of it now.  One thing that I should say is that if a piece of fish flakes under the slightest pressure from a fork, then it is cooked, and the flesh will also be pearly white in colour.  No worries!  If you don’t like the look of the fillets on display at the fishmonger, ask to see if they have any more so you can get the pick of the fillets.  Also, don’t be afraid to ask  them to skin and bone the fish for you – they’re the experts after all.

And so we come to the end of another chapter of my adventures in food.  I hope you have enjoyed it, and I’m looking forward to you sharing your experiences with this dish.  In the meantime, I shall leave you to a (hopefully) sunny and fun weekend, stuffed full of fish!

Viking